My next recommender is a friend I met through Frontrunners. Frontrunners is an LGBT+ running group that has chapters in many cities across the US and world. As I moved to Portland in 2008, it was one of the ways I made friends and found some community in a new place. We lost touch the last few years I lived in Portland, during the dark years of my relationship. But after the break-up, he hosted me in his home when I was in Portland for my eye surgery appointments. That gave us time to chat about my realizations, and hear parts of his story.
Recommendation #6 from Scott Lechert
Consenting Adults by Alan J. Pakula
From Amazon, “Academy Award-winner Kevin Kline and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio heat up the screen in CONSENTING ADULTS, the spine-tingling sexy thriller that seduced audiences and critics alike. When two couples living next door to each other grow too close, one of the husbands risks everything for a passion he can’t resist — his neighbor’s wife. His temptation traps the foursome in a shocking web of betrayal and murder. And now accused of a crime he didn’t commit, he must race against time to save his family from a shocking fate.”
The film’s tagline is one of the ten commandments, “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife.” And since I didn’t read anything about the film before watching it, I thought it would only be about swinger couples. So I was surprised with the amount of lying, unspoken expectations, and crime that occurred.
The one thing I can take away from the film is a lesson in honesty – being honest with yourself, your spouse, and your friends.
What did I learn?
Ultimately, I can’t give this film a good recommendation. The Rotten Tomatoes website agrees with this; it holds a 27% recommendation on the website. And Gene Siskel said it was “depressing, mean-spirited and lacking in well-developed characters.” But to say I can’t learn anything from the film is also incorrect.
Every relationship has challenges, as well as unmet needs. But, just like every facet of life, there are appropriate and inappropriate ways to meet those needs. Both couples in the film needed excitement, friendship, and understanding. In fact, we ALL need those things. Excitement helps propel us forward. Friendship helps us feel less alone. And understanding provides a buffer from the damaging thoughts and expectations we hold about ourselves and others. But the challenge is finding the right way to get your needs met. How are you doing with that?
Thanks for checking out this recommendation. The song for this post comes from my May 2019 playlist called Redemption. The song talks about a heart that has been hurt, burned, and caught off guard. Stabbed, cursed, and full of scars, it has been broken in two pieces and torn apart. But there is still shelter for your homeless heart. That shelter? God’s perfect love.