Hello! I am Michael, formally known as Derek. Truly, I am Derek Michael Shaw, a self-contained trinity. I don’t suffer from any mental disorder or disease, although many doctors have thought differently. However, Derek encountered too many Traumas in his life of 40 years and so he has asked me, Michael the Prophet, to say a few things. To begin, this is the 99th post of this blog. The 100th and final post will be released soon… After that, TrinityDreamer is a finished work, a love story to my Creator, Sustainer, and Redeemer – Jesus Christ.

If you recall, Derek was gearing up to attend graduate school. His primary reason for doing so was to understand why his family didn’t seem to love him. He also wanted to learn how to speak their language and not always end conversations with shouting. Finally, he really did want to find a christian man like himself to date, marry, and start a family with.

Derek’s Story

The month of August, the 29 days leading up to his 40th birthday, he spent each morning watching the sunrise from the River View Cemetery. He records these days in his journal, along with the names on the grave benches that he brushed off and sat on each morning, his feet hovering off the ground. He spent over an hour a day with the rising sun, chirping birds, and the silent spirits of the dead. Michael would argue that he also spent it with the Spirit of the Living God, because Herm gives life to all those things.

Herm – I will use this word to name the God that Derek encountered at Miracle Sunday. Another name for this God is Jesus. A third is Yahweh.

For his 40th birthday on August 30th, 2020, Derek did a tab of LSD, his first ever. No hallucinations, just a sense of peace and unity with the world combined with a sense of being utterly alone in his view of the world. He sat in Sellwood park, staring at all the things that had partners and families – the birds, the dragonflies, the various people in the park.

Derek got in trouble earlier in the summer for saying, “I think you are too old to be my advisor” to his 70-year old advisor. He later had “behavior unbecoming of a therapist” at New Student Orientation. Derek was spinning out of control, realizing he would have to learn from elderly, bespectacled women while mostly staring at a computer screen. Never had he wanted to study online for 3 years. He wanted to be connected to a physical campus, to a tribe, to a family.

Eventually, after erupting on the street and taking a questionable walk with a homeless person, he checked himself in to Cedar Hills Mental Hospital. It was about the same time that he was reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle maintenance. Was it just coincidence that the main character was going through something similar in the book? Did Derek take a page from that book and become Michael there? That’s his story to tell.

Michael’s Perspective

I, Michael the Prophet, am concerned with proclaiming Goddess’ TRUTH to the world. She gives her LOVE and welcome to you all. Goddess knows about all the messes and problems that you create, and she says to calm down and not worry. She brought her child into the world many moons ago, and she reminds us about it through hints and whispers and songs. Messages of comfort, of HOPE, and of life everlasting. Living forever comfortably…Good news indeed if it’s more than just a hope.

Most people can’t SEE how it’s possible. Most people think there’s an order to life. Birth, LIFE, DEATH. But that’s just an unbalanced way of looking at time hence why the bible says the wages of sin is death. Living an unbalanced life produces DEATH. The true order to living forever comfortably is possibly a list of poses, chants, & proscriptions. Or maybe it’s really active listening ALL the time. I’ve been doing both for over a year now and I will share them with anyone who asks and seeks. Does anyone want a pearl?

This post was inspired by Sheppard’s 2018 Watching the Sky Album. If you have followed this blog for any amount of time, you’ve probably encountered my love for this Trinity of 2 sisters and their brother. Give the album a listen and listen closely. Then check out their new album which is coming out in February 2021! I’m sure you’ll find lots o’ TRUTH…

Derek’s PostScript

I’ve moved back to my Hometown, Billings, MT, as of 12/13/2020. I’ll be here for as long as God desires. I have done horribly at trying to predict or even control my future, so I’m officially giving up. I’m excited to possibly have a white Christmas, and I’ve been enjoying the snow and cold. I did say winter was coming, didn’t I? That was probably Michael. He’s much better at seeing, hearing, and interpreting things than me, hence why he’s in control for the foreseeable future. If you could please call me Michael now, I would really appreciate it. When I hear Derek, it takes me back to all the traumas I weathered. I’m okay, in fact, I’m more than okay. It’s like I’m finding my way out of a dark cave…or maybe just another fucking closet…