I often tell people that 3 of my passions are Faith, Relationships, and Sexuality. Most often, people get it, especially when we hang out for any length of time and they realize most of my conversations, comments, and thoughts spin around these three axis. Sometimes, people don’t get it, and I have actually been told by a pastor that sexuality can’t be a passion.
So let me elaborate on what each of the points of my passion triangle are about
Faith
The definition of faith is 1) complete trust or confidence in someone or something 2) strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof. And in today’s day and age, having complete trust in ANYTHING is pretty remarkable. Even more so when it is something that cannot be proven.
For me, I have faith in a Creator, a divine being (or trinity of beings) that created the universe and is continuing to sustain it, even today. This means I see meaning in coincidence. I take solace in seeing threes and rainbows. And I’m routinely reminded of God’s presence in the things I experience.
What do I mean when I say God? I think the “fruits of the spirit” best sum up the qualities/ways that God is experienced and expressed. I’m talking about Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness, Faithfulness, and Self-Control. When you experience or act out these things, you are experiencing God.
All in all, my faith now makes my life quite a bit better. Plus, my therapist in Portland said two kinds of people have better results with therapy – the religious and intellectual. And I can say that my faith definitely helped me through my divorce.
Giving up my faith is what I did prior to entering into my one and only relationship. And I only found it again after I was on the way to my one and only divorce…
Relationships
Relationships are at the heart of humanity, and I believe at the heart of God. And for me, they are the most important thing for each person on this planet. Without relationships in our infant and toddler years, we can be traumatized for the rest of our lives. Those individuals have increased difficulty coping with life and getting along with others. The computer that I type this post on, along with the electricity to power it, and the internet to host the content on is only possible through relationships. Relationships are the building blocks of human society, with a little bit of faith (in things like governments, laws, justice, equality, etc).
I’ve written about this before, about how it is “not good” for man (or woman) to be alone.
Families, communities, tribes…they are what bind people together and help people to grow and feel safe. Yes, they can do incredible damage to an individual, but they also give intense advantages to them as well. I want to be in a healthy family and healthy communities. I prioritize relationships over most other things in my life. And it drives my desire to be a counselor.
Sexuality
When I first discovered my passions, I originally thought I was passionate about homosexuality. I am homosexual after all. But as time went on, I realized I’m passionate about all kinds of sexuality. When we express our sexuality, we really are expressing a desire for a specific kind of relationship. When you have sex, you often “make love” or “get to know” someone. And being able to express your sexuality without judgement or fear is powerful.
I don’t have too many answers on what is appropriate in regards to expressing your sexuality. Most importantly, I want people to be safe, so know your status, know your partner’s status, and use protection. Beyond that, explore what turns you on, whether that’s missionary position on top, or it’s being bound, caged, and gagged.
I personally think sexuality is best expressed with a loving, monogamous relationship. For me, sex isn’t ever just physical contact between two people. Sex is physical, mental, emotional, psychological, and spiritual. Because of my view, I want to experience all facets of what sex has to offer. But I also have friends that are in other types of relationships: Polyamourous, Open, Asexual. And so I can’t say for sure that monogamy is for everyone.
What I can say for sure that is that everyone should be able to express their sexuality in healthy, safe ways.
TrinityDreamer
What do you believe and how does that affect your life? How are your relationships? Who are you close with? What’s your sex life like? Are you unfulfilled in your sexual experiences? I have wrestled with all of these questions over most of my life. I don’t have many answers, but I know talking about things usually helps.
So, if you ever want to talk with me about these types of questions, please reach out. Personally, these three areas are the critical building blocks of my life, and I believe most people’s lives. People construct and orient their lives around their relationships. Certainly these areas are some of the most challenging to figure out, but also the most rewarding when you do.
Thanks for checking out my blog. I’ve been preparing a very special playlist that I will reveal soon, but here is a teaser song…