For most of us, we carry around this impressive piece of technology everywhere we go. It is often the first thing we look at when we open our eyes in the morning, and the last thing we check before nodding off to sleep. It functions as an alarm clock, a calculator, a navigator, a social media conduit, a library, a repository of images and videos about your life, a digital health assistant, an entertainment machine, a link to your bank and finances…oh, and you can use it to call people, both audio and video calls, through several apps and functions on the phone, without even needing a phone plan and often for free.

So why is it that we are so complacent when it comes to calling other people? Well, we have tons of excuses…

• I don’t like the way I look or sound
• I’m not that interesting
• Nothing exciting has happened in my life recently
• I don’t have the time or energy
• It drains me, and I’m already so tired
• I can’t think of anything to say
• I just don’t want to…and you can’t make me

And as much as I want to judge these excuses, invalidate them, and say that you are selfish, I realize that I’m the selfish one. So for that, I apologize. I apologize for wanting to have extended human contact using the amazing technological device we all carry around at all times. I apologize for wanting to move past the social media feeds and butt to the front of the line for your thoughts.

Most of us are incredibly busy people, I get it. I think the percent of busy people in my life is upwards of 99% (I’m being serious, because even if they AREN’T busy, they all tell me they FEEL busy). And really, they are correct. My family and friends all have their own needs, along with the needs that come from having spouses, children, jobs, friends, and spiritual communities. The busyness becomes our business, and we can’t stop for 3 minutes to breathe, let alone 30 minutes for a phone call.

Plus, let’s talk about how IMPRACTICAL it is to talk on the phone. You have to stop what you are doing and focus on listening and responding and sharing. Sometimes, you don’t get much out of it beyond hearing about the weather or what the other person ate for dinner the night before. Can’t you just learn that from the internet and their social media feed? Is there anything that we actually gain from a phone call?

Human Being versus Human Doing

We lose the ability to “be” if we constantly focus on “doing” things. If our lives revolve around our busyness, we lose valuable parts of ourselves to stress, worry, and anxiety. We are distracted by the things going on in this world, and then we turn around and distract ourselves even more to try and forget about the distractions. It’s silly really.

On My Adventure, I’ve been reading, writing, and spending a lot of time by myself. I’ve learned how to BE:

• How to be at home when I have no home
• How to be satisfied with being alone
• How to be gentle with myself

I’ve been incredibly blessed to have an extended period of time in the wilderness to reflect, re-encounter God, and have a wild adventure. But I’ve been reminded again and again that we rarely use our phones for the act of calling. I see a lot of people on their phones all the time, but we aren’t often talking to another person.

By calling a loved one, we take a stand against busyness and we make a priority for another human being. In this act of doing, we can affirm the importance of another individual, connect with humanity, and start to know others and be known. We push past the Tweets, Instagram Photos, and Facebook Stories to say, “You are important to me”. And really, most of us have SO MUCH MORE going on than what we post to social media.

“I know what’s going on… I’ve seen your feed”

I had a friend remark to me the other day that he didn’t have any questions for me because I post my life on Facebook and this website. Newsflash! – I don’t post my life. Not even close. But until we start to realize and become interested in other people, that will be our base reaction to all of our “friends” on social media.

As a Christian, I try to phone in to God on a daily basis by praying, reflecting, and journaling. While you could say that God has given us plenty to read and to look at in regards to Him, there’s something beautiful, wonderful, and personal when you actually connect to the Divine.

The same can be said when you actually connect with a loved one. You can laugh with them, cry with them, and their emotions can often affect your own. They can share their stories, and you can share yours! Who wouldn’t want that?

The Power of Intimacy

I encountered an article that really resonated with me recently. https://www.lennyletter.com/story/phone-calls-taught-me-about-power-of-intimacy Here is a sentence at the start of the article that caught my attention,

“We call because we want a break: from creative projects, from talking to children, or being around children. We call because we feel alone but don’t want to be left alone. We call because we need space for joy and connection; talking makes that space”

And that is what phone calls represent for me as well. I hope you can also come to realize this. Talking with another human being is a form of connection, and we are becoming increasingly disconnected from ourselves and each other in our always-online, super-connected world. Talking allows us to share ourselves, our human being-ness with another human being.

Let me be clear, this isn’t a subtle message for readers of this blog to call me (although I’d never say no to that). This is an encouragement to call those people in your life who you know you SHOULD call more often than you do. Even if they never call you, the calls can be a peace offering, an acknowledgement of your desire for closeness, or an act of forgiveness. Ultimately, this is my passion for relationships working itself out by sharing with readers of this blog about how much can be gained by a simple, FREE phone call.

My own parents, when I asked what they wanted for Christmas, just wanted more phone calls. You see, while I had wanted to break off contact with everyone in my life during My Adventure, I realized my phone calls made my Mom feel important, feel heard, and they made her laugh. And so I’ve been diligently calling each week for the past several months. It’s one of the most selfish/unselfish things I’ve done in a long time.

Sharing is caring

What if we all committed to calling a loved one once a month for the next year? What if we set-up a plan to set aside 30 minutes of our life monthly to be a human being to another person? 21,600 seconds, 360 minutes, 6 hours, 1/4 of a day out of 365…Would that really accomplish much of anything?

I KNOW it would. At the very least, we would be choosing a person over the games and media we consume on our PHONES (probably much more than 30 minutes a month). And I don’t think we can go wrong when we choose another human being over doing something. It will be challenging. It will be frustrating. Sometimes you won’t feel like calling. But just like how working out is good for you even when you don’t feel like it, so too, you will find its good to call people even when you don’t feel like. So what have you got to lose? Show someone you care..