Day 62 (Sunday Oct 21) – Since I was back in Dunedin, I decided to go to Arise church one more time. If you recall, I had gone the last week I was in Dunedin, and I had wanted to talk to the pastor about homosexuality. But, he was too busy after the service, so I sent an email, which he eventually responded to. He said he could connect me with someone else within Arise that would speak to me. However, as of this weekend, I still hadn’t heard from anyone, so I went back to Arise to reconnect and try to get the conversation started again.
It was another wonderful service, and I can see the good that Arise does in the lives of the people that attend, as well as the community. I spoke with the Pastor after the service and just started to remark how I hadn’t heard from anyone when he spotted a baby crying in the lobby with no parents around. He excused himself, picked up the baby, and walked back into the auditorium where the service is held. I waited for several minutes, eventually wondering if he was coming back, and so I went back to the auditorium. I saw him speaking with other congregants. I waited for another 5 minutes, but when it became apparent he wasn’t returning, I wrote an email in the lobby of the church, sent it to him, and left. As of typing this up on Day 70, I still haven’t heard from him…
Suffice to say, I am disappointed by Arise’s lack of response. I experienced something similar with Faith Chapel back in Billings, MT. While I understand that pastors are busy, and churches are trying to meet the needs of LOTS of people, all I want is recognition that they’ve received my email, and they are working to schedule something for me. Maybe I’ll still get that from Arise…
After church, I drove back to Queenstown, recorded another podcast episode, and posted it with the following image. This is the actual kanji for the year of the monkey (the design on my book and podcast is a stylized version done in hand calligraphy by my sister-in-law). I like this design because it looks like a sword (or dagger) and shield.
I went to City Impact Church’s evening service, which was prayer and worship, and felt spiritually refreshed to start another week in Queenstown.
Day 63 (Monday Oct 22) – For my final week in Queenstown, I wanted to go with a bang, so I booked a sky-dive for Friday!
Walking around Queenstown, I noticed a new memorial that I hadn’t noticed before. As with most other memorials in New Zealand, this is an ANZAC war memorial.
I also caught another beautiful image of spring in New Zealand.
My day of course started with coffee and devotions at Starbucks. The rest of my day was spent blogging, reading, and starting the process of finding grad schools.
Day 64 (Tuesday Oct 23) – I spent the morning at Starbucks (devotions, reading, and blogging), and then I wandered over to the Village Green. The sun was shining and the ducklings were so cute!
To get my exercise and to complete my Apple Watch rings, that afternoon I did a quick up and back of the Tiki Trail (the trail leading to the top of the Gondola).
I also wrote a post about my obsession with rainbows!
Day 65 (Wednesday Oct 24) – As you are beginning to see, this was a pretty chill week which was nice after the adventures I had in the previous week. But I still was productive, contemplative, and I was still completing daily exercise. The main product from this day was My Story – Episode 8 – 3 Reasons. Stop by the My Story page to learn more.
Day 66 (Thursday Oct 25) – It was time for another adventure! I also needed a new book to read, and so I drove to Wanaka (an hour away from Queenstown). On the way there, around 12pm, I encountered snow in the Crown Range mountain pass. On the way back through at 5pm, it had all melted off. As I took a second set of photos, I realized how quickly life can change, and what we brings us the most joy as humans is appreciate the beautiful gifts that each day bring, whether that is clouds, white, and cold, or sun, green, and warmth.
For the book, I found Lost Connections – Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression – And the Unexpected Solutions by Johann Hari.
I also caught another viewpoint on my drive back to Queenstown.
And when I reached Frankton, NZ God gave me another rainbow…a DOUBLE rainbow in fact! Unfortunately, it was behind a security fence.
Day 67 (Friday Oct 26) – Skydive day! I drove back out to Wanaka and dove with Skydive Wanaka. I took a short video of some other divers when I found out I couldn’t use my own Go-Pro and a video cost $200. Skydive Wanaka’s Instagram page has a lot of great photos of what I saw.
$200 is a week in my room in Queenstown or a couple of scuba dives at least. But the total experience was pretty awesome. As we circled higher and higher, I found out that I wouldn’t be jumping at the 12,000 ft that I had purchased. Instead, since everyone else in the plane had paid for the 15,000 ft jump, they were just going to let me jump at that height as well. I was also the closest to the door, so I saw the Wanaka and the surrounding area (including Mt. Aspiring). It actually wasn’t that scary for me. Because it was a tandem jump, you were strapped to an instructor, so all you had to do was relax. Freefalling for 40 seconds while rotating around to see mountains, lakes, and fields was a lot of fun. And then turning and descending once the parachute opened was entertaining because I experienced some more g-force.
I hung out in Wanaka after the dive for lunch and a coffee. I found another trinity in some sculptures near the lake.
Friday Night, I met some other gay guys at a Gay Wakatipu Beer Club event. They were saying good-bye to one of the members that had been living in Queenstown for several months. While, it was fun to hang out with other people, it was also another lesson in realizing that my passion for faith, relationships, and sexuality often makes me “confrontational”. Or a better way to put it is that my tone changes when I get on these topics, and I can seem confrontational. A couple of the guys specifically mentioned that I seemed confrontational during or after this event. And since I’ve heard that same term used about me several other times in the past 12 months, I must agree that there is some truth to that statement. I’m realizing that I sometimes (well, often) get frustrated or exasperated when I hear the same opinions and beliefs expressed about homosexuality. Either that gays should be celibate and the reasons (from Christians – because the Bible tells them so), or that there is nothing wrong with open relationships (from gay guys – who think monogamy is impractical, undesirable, and just plain silly). And so I get defensive, because I believe differently, and I end up feeling like I have to defend myself.
It’s something that I’m working on, and ultimately, I don’t have to defend myself to someone who believes differently than me.
After the event though, I was feeling even more disconnected from other people, and from people understanding me, so I walked around Queenstown praying, crying, and listening to music. I didn’t feel much better afterwards, but God did give me a song that came on randomly. It is called Beautifully Broken by Plumb.
Day 68 (Saturday Oct 27) – From my journal entry from this day –
“What is my riddle? What do I need to solve? I KNOW God is present, active, loving. I know Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I know why I want connection and family. I know my personality, my passions, my story.
I suppose my riddle is loneliness. How can I know all of the above, and even know tomorrow will be better, and yet be distraught like I was last night? I may have pried a bit (asked a married couple of they were open, dug at the meaning behind a tattoo). But from that, people are shocked, think I’m weird, think I’m confrontational.
I know I am gifted, smart, caring, curious, and I’m so much an Enneagram #9 and a Myers Briggs INFJ. I guess I want other people to act like that, but even when they do, they still aren’t like me. Putting their entire life out there, sharing their stories and thoughts to a world that doesn’t seem to really care, because they are too wrapped up in their OWN stories. Am I really any different after all? Do I truly care about the people around me?
I want connection, I want sex, I want someone to care about me. No one has that capacity right now though, at least no person, not for the type of care that I want. Hence, I keep coming back to God. Because God is always there and deserves my time and attention more than anyone. God gave me my family, my intelligence, and was infinitely patient with me.
I decide that this day will be real. It’s healthy and normal to feel sad and lonely as long as it doesn’t stop you. And so I want a worldview that accepts that I need connection, but also says that I don’t get what I want, when I want it, and that can be healthy, right, and beautiful. And I’m healthy, sane, and lonely. That’s what I am right now. Praise God, Praise Jesus, Praise Breath (Holy Spirit).
I meet Xavier later in the day and hung out with him. He was visiting Queenstown from Christchurch, so we got some food and got to know each other.
Day 69 (Sunday Oct 28) – My final Sunday at City Impact Church. I am so glad I was part of this church family for a month. It was the type of Christian community that I wanted to experience here in New Zealand. And even my devotions for this day included the same passage that the sermon was about – the 3 temptations of Jesus – lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, and the pride of life. But the final thought for the sermon was about no taking people for granted, choosing to not look at their faults, loving people instead of judging people.
After the service, I got invited over to Clint and Mel’s house (a family that had been going to the church for several years). They made nachos and I got to hang out with them and their 4 kids. They were very gracious hosts, and I really appreciated a home-cooked meal. Clint had also done some skydiving and scuba-diving, so it was great to share stories.
I also recorded and uploaded episode #8 of My Story, entitled 3 Reasons that afternoon.
Day 70 (Monday Oct 29) – I wanted to try and see the sunrise from the top of Queenstown Hill, and I convinced Kurt to come along with me. So, we left around 5am and hiked to the top. While we didn’t get to see a pretty sunrise, we did have some other cool experiences.
After the hike, I treated Kurt to breakfast at a local cafe called Bob’s Weigh, thanking him for indulging my desire for an early morning ascent.
I worked on my blog, my recommendations and my knitting for the rest of the morning, and then hung out with Xavier again for the rest of the day. We took advantage of the spa at his hotel, so I got to soak twice (afternoon and evening).
Day 71 (Tuesday Oct 30) – My last full day in Queenstown. I planned out my trip to Christchurch, and decided I’d spend two days near Mt Cook doing some hiking and seeing some lakes. I also made plans to hang out with Craig, the guy who coordinates most of the Gay Beer Club hangouts, before I left on Wednesday. He also came from a Christian background, so I was interested to hear his story.
I also blogged, read, and packed up my room. At this point, I realized I didn’t have my scuba boots and I had a moment of panic, as I wasn’t sure where I had left them. After calling around to the lodge where I stayed in Milford Sound and the dive company I used, I finally found them. They had actually been picked up with all the other boots by the dive company, and they had been wondering whose they were. They agreed to send them along to Christchurch once I got settled there. I was so thankful that I didn’t actually lose them.
Day 72 (Wednesday Oct 31) – I had to wash my sheets, clean up my room, check-out, and then I met Craig for a fish and chips lunch. It was really good to talk with him, as we talked through some of the things I had experienced with being confrontational. I also got to hear his story and I was very appreciative of connecting with him. I wish I had reached out sooner, but maybe we will have a chance to hangout again sometime in the future.
Final Thoughts
Queenstown was an amazing experience. I highly recommend visiting if you are in New Zealand due to the plethora of activities, sites, and people you can meet. I’m also amazed at all I was able to accomplish this month
- Sky-diving
- DeeDee Morningstar (my Drag Queen alter-ego)
- Learning to knit
- Several amazing hikes (Key Summit, Ben Lomond Summit, Queenstown Hill, Tiki Trail x5)
- Luging down Bob’s Peak
- Milford Sound – My third ocean scuba dive – seeing black coral, dolphins, and a sea dragon
- Daily devotions and journaling
- 3 recommendations completed (Robinson Crusoe, The Art of Fielding, Lost Connections)
- Great conversations, connections, and new friends (Aaron, Jay, Kurt, Abbie, Adam, Tim, Anna, Amara, Lash, Craig, and many others)
Here are my Apple Watch Stats for the month. While I didn’t have a perfect month and my stats were slightly lower than September, I stayed very active and earned some impressive achievements on the day I hiked Ben Lomond summit.
Total Active Calories Burned
October 2018 – 26,000
Total Steps Taken
October 2018 – 508,450
Average Daily Steps Taken
October 2018 – 16,400
Song time! This song comes from this month’s ReVivified playlist. It is the song God gave me on my Friday night of discontent (Day 67 – Friday October 26th)