First, we cannot examine the Bible without putting it in context for the time it was written, as well as how it should be re-interpreted for the current day and age. While we can read and study about Adam and Eve, and the six bible verses that actually speak to homosexuality, my story and other experiences that homosexuals have had with the church, and also what homosexuality meant in Jewish culture and Ancient Rome versus the current day and age need to be considered. Because all of those have relevance on the discussion of homosexuality.

The primary reason for marriage is NOT procreation. Many couples choose to not have children, other couples CAN’T have children, and then most couples eventually do something to STOP having children or God does something to them (tubes tied, birth control, menopause). The primary reason for a marriage between two people is for companionship. God himself stated the original problem, “It is not good for man to be alone.” So, God wants his creations to be in relationship with one another, and he actually calls them to a specific form of relationship, a marriage, for when they want to express their sexual attraction.

Furthermore, we have the presence of the Trinity to show us that not even God is alone. He has a partnership, and it is a beautiful threesome, the Holy Trinity. 3 unique presences or personalities that are acting together in harmony. Now, I realize God isn’t married, but there is still something to be learned from the Trinity, because there is decidedly a masculine bend to its relationship. We refer to God as Father, Jesus was a man, and even the Holy Spirit often had masculine or neuter forms used.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_of_the_Holy_Spirit

However, since all humans are made in the image of God (male and female) then God has the full expression of masculinity and femininity. I personally love to refer to God as Her, She, and Mother as it helps me highlight so many other attributes of God that are fully present in both men and women.

So, if God’s union can get by without any gender expression, then why can’t human relationships have a singular gender expression, because the other side of the spectrum is brought by God, which would be the third part of OUR marriages as Christians? In my 9 year partnership, there were virtually NO differences to the problems we had versus heterosexual couples, and in reading the Attached book, I realized that all of our arguments and problems had little to do with being two males. The problems my ex and I had were all the same problems that any heterosexual couple have. I would also argue, many of our problems stemmed from not having God in our lives. I made that clear in my book.

And personally, I don’t see how a monogamous, committed, life-long marriage between two Christian men or two Christian women can be called sinful, at least any more sinful than any heterosexual Christian marriage (which, by the way, are generally thought to have the roughly the same divorce rate as non-christian marriages). What is the sin, besides “they aren’t like Adam and Eve”? Of course at the beginning of time God had to create a partnership that would be able to procreate, but as many learned scholars have determined, the precedent for marriage after that point, was NOT primarily about procreation, but partnership.

I am VERY surprised whenever the Church uses texts from Leviticus to say homosexuality is wrong when there are a sizeable number of other laws within the text that we no longer follow – http://hill-kleerup.org/blog/2012/06/13/76-things-banned-in-leviticus-and-their-penalties.html

We don’t follow them because they don’t make sense in our current day and age. So, if you are going to take the first half of Leviticus 20:13, then let’s discuss the rest of the verse, which says, “They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.” I’ve personally slept with men, you can read about it in my book. If we are to hold to the first half of that verse, then I should DIE! Why doesn’t the church ever deal with the second half of the verse?  Because it doesn’t make sense in today’s day and age. And so then why hold fast to the first half of the verse?

As far as Leviticus 18, it is MOSTLY dealing with incest, although there is also the command not to have sex with a woman during her period, a command to not sleep with your neighbor’s wife, and then the “homosexuality” verse in 18:22. What is the proscription for anyone who does ANY of these things. ²⁹ “‘Everyone who does any of these detestable things—such persons must be cut off from their people.” So, once again, if we are taking 18:22 to be valid, then CUT ME OUT OF THE CHURCH. But no, most churches who are against homosexuality would ask me to stay a part of the community and become celibate.

Then, the New Testament verses in 1 Timothy and 1 Corinthians refer back to these two verses, which if they are not usable, then we need to question our interpretation of the New Testament as well. Specifically the word Arsenokoitai, which is only used twice in the New Testament, and references outside the bible aren’t clear on the exact meaning.

https://www.gaychristian101.com/Arsenokoites.html

Ultimately, most christians say it all comes back to Genesis 1-2, which I would like to point out, is a creation story, not to be taken literally. There were not seven days of creation. The earth isn’t just 4000 years old, and so a number of liberties have to be taken to try to tie Genesis 1 and 2 back to actual events (which was probably more guided evolution than an actual Man and Woman named Adam and Eve). And I agree, we HAD to have Adam and Eve to procreate and fill the earth, but once again, the original problem in Genesis was not procreation, it was alone-ness. It is NOT GOOD for man to be alone.

As far as Jesus, he never actually talked about homosexuality. But isn’t the absence of a negative proscription against same sex relations interesting? If God TRULY thought homosexuality was wrong, why couldn’t Jesus just say it? Yes, Jesus didn’t nudge the conversation towards a more inclusive sexuality, but he also never commented on the homosexual relationships that he would have seen around him (which at that time definitely included many types of inappropriate homosexual relationships). Instead, Jesus primarily talked about the marriage covenant. And guess what? Two consenting adults can get married whether they are two men, two women, or a man and a woman. That is the law of the land in the United States and many countries around the world. So, if I can get married to another Christian man, why shouldn’t I try to follow the biblical teachings about marriage?

What do many within the church want to do about homosexuals? Most say it is the same as helping any heterosexual single straight person. The church is supposed to surround both singles and homosexuals to help them feel less alone and a part of the community. However, for singles, they have the option of eventually finding someone. For all homosexuals, they are actually being called to celibacy. I GREATLY disagree with this because they are two separate issues. Being given homosexual attraction and being called to celibacy are not related. What would you consider to be the primary mark that you are NOT called to celibacy? I would argue that it is the desire for a partner and family, as well as sexual desire. Even Paul says that it is better to be married than burn with passion. Well guess what, I have sexual desire, a desire for a partner, and a desire for children. I can’t just turn that off.

As I grew in to adulthood, I knew I wanted children, but I also wanted a partner to walk alongside me and be a part of my journey. It was the same desires that all my brothers and sister had, as well as almost every person I met at Wheaton. But when I realized that my partner would need to be male, suddenly, those other desires are no longer valid. Many in the church would probably say I could still have a family, and a community, but what about my partnership? Why can’t homosexual people have that? What is unhealthy about that, in the context of a christian church and community that would surround them and help them raise their children, just like they should do for every heterosexual couple? What is sinful about wanting a partner, wanting a family, wanting children?

I want to stress that the ONLY thing that makes me different from any “straight” person is my sexual attraction to men. (A song that came on at random in my Spotify as I wrote this sentence had a lyric, “We all bleed the same”, and that’s what I am trying to convey)

This entire post was written due to some recent conversations I’ve had with several people in my past.

If anyone thinks I am expressing anger with this post, please consider this. My parents, my older siblings, and various other Christians in my life have been telling me since I came out, that I don’t deserve a partner, that my sexual attraction is a result of sin nature and I have this unique sin issue that the majority of christians don’t struggle with and don’t have to think about.  I have to be held to a higher standard, a standard that not even Adam, the original man, was forced to endure. I have to BE ALONE for the rest of my life, when all I’ve wanted is a partner, someone to take away the “not good being alone” feeling that has been part of humankind since the start of creation.

Wouldn’t you be a little angry about that?

And I get frustrated, because I keep having these amazing moments with God, where She tells me She created me as a homosexual, and then I encounter the same arguments that I’ve heard that don’t really consider my experience valid. According to Christians who believe gays should be celibate, my story, my personal revelation from God in a church in Portland, OR on February 4th, 2018, his guiding influence on my life here in New Zealand, and the situations I have encountered in the last 21 days (which I haven’t blogged about because they are other people’s stories) are all worthless compared to some creation stories and 6 verses in the Bible..

I know we can’t always trust our feelings, but really my experiences ARE valid. I have heard all of the reasons why people think homosexuality is wrong, but at the end of the day, I’m just sad that people like My Mom, My Dad, Jayson, Rachel, Trevor,  Joni, and many others say, “It is good for Derek to be alone”